My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
