lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
