whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
