i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My pussy is not your playground.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
