i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
