Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
