I just pynch a tree in the face
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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