Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
