god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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