he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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