I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
