I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am available for nakedness
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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