took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
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