apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
