Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
