i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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