I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
