She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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