why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My dick has a subreddit
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
