she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize