he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
