My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
