I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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