What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
