are you so shy because you have an std?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
