isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
