I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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