Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
