She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I have post one night stand depression
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
