i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
