Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
