I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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