he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
