This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
