Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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