friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
