It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
