I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
