i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
