I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize