Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize