Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
