He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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