Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
