Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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