We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
