would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
