I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
