I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
