paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
