How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
