Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
