Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize