Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
