im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Say something about gay babies.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
