Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
