so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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