I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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