thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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