you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
